Moving along we are passing a couple of seventy-something year old oak trees. It’s spring so they are in full bloom. They are standing remarkable close to the pebble path without disrupting it with their roots. The grass is freshly mowed and smells amazing. At the side of the lawn, about thirty meters from the big pond that forms the centre piece of this midsize park, a group of girls is doing something that probably should look like yoga. A group of eleven girls led by a guy who seems to have made peace with the fact that his entire body is too hairy. This is actually the first time that I see them from this close by.

“And now we switch over to the Wheel Pose,” the hairy man whispers with a low baritone.

Since they all start without further instructions you would expect them to have some experience. But looking at the execution I highly doubt that they ever had any instructions at all. It’s only the hairy man who seems to be able to correctly execute the pose ending up in a scary looking display of either his erection or the something he put there to make it seem he has something that compensates for his hairy back. The breathing is accompanied by soft moaning from all the participants. For ten seconds they stay in something resembling the pose, after which they seem to be repeating it.

“And now it’s fucking finished!”

The sudden outcry of one of the eleven girls ends the eighth repeat attempt halfway. They all cramp up for a second before falling back into their resting position. One of the eleven, who wears a sort of rainbow-coloured bathing suit, jumps up and runs in the direction of a couple of misplaced bushes near the pond.

“He’s jerking off again. I’m going to kill that idiot,” the rainbow lady yells loud enough to spark the same rage within the other ten.

They all jump up and start running in the direction of the bushes, leaving the hairy man behind in what seems to be full confusion. Almost at the same time a young boy jumps up trying to get out of the bushes while at the same time raising his pants. Shock and despair are clearly pouring from his eyes, while he pulls his zipper.

A resounding “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” leaves the boy after he gets his half erect dick stuck in his zipper. In a complete panic the boy tries to jump out of the bushes in the other direction. He loses his balance and falls, stuck dick first, into the cold pond.

“Help me, I can’t swim,” the boy cries out while struggling to keep his head above water.

The eleven run past the bushes and stop at the bank of the pond.

“Ha, you didn’t know it was this deep here did you!?” the rainbow girl yells out in the direction of the struggling boy. “This will teach you a lesson.”

“But I can’t swim,” the boy cries out again before going down a second time.

“Good for you, you freak,” rainbow girl shouts out. “Hope you rot in hell for your perverse mind.”

The boy doesn’t seem to come up and all that is left of him are some bubbles on the water. The girls look at each other in shock. “Shit he isn’t coming up. We have to do something,” cries the most awkwardly shaped one of the ten. A painful silence underlines their state of inactivity. Realisation of what just happened seems to kick in, but where the shared hatred could bring them to action, the shared shock only seems to freeze them.

The perfect state to leave them I think. We don’t have to say bye to the yoga crowd, they are too self-involved to notice us anyway.